“Not My First Three Way!”

Chelsea was still in search for her first PWE win of the year but her next match offered a great chance for that as she was competing in a Triple Threat Match against Moniker and Maladi in this week’s opener! Can Chelsea get the win?

Studio 11, Chicago, Illinois
Friday the 3rd of March 2023, 11:00am

So, it’s been a while since you’ve seen me in the studio huh?

This year has already been busy for me, first I had my wedding to plan and then I decided to record Sadistick Ragecution’s double cd and Krawling Khaos’s fifth album (Tales of Evil Things and Castle of the Graveless Bride respectively) in between all my wrestling and porn shoots and it’s a miracle that I find time to sleep! Throw in that I’ve got a PWE Match to promote soon and I’m going to be busy this month! At least my bands have made a killing this Bandcamp Friday!

And this Triple Threat Match will be a tough one as I’m taking on Moniker and Maladi in the opener, and yes you can make the jokes about me in a three way! I’ve been making them myself since my match got announced!

Regardless? I’m out for my first PWE win of the year!

”Okay, so far we’ve finished tracking Unholy Matrimony, From Undeath To Us Part, Alter of Impurity,, the title track and Castle Wall Entombment.” I commented to the rest of the band as I went over my checklist. ”By my math, we’ll have the album ready for release in May, just gotta sort out the rest of the tracks and merch!”

“”Yeah, we’re halfway through the album already, impressive considering that Castle Wall Entombment is the closest we’ve gotten to flirting with Death/Doom.” Julian nodded in agreement as he tuned up his bass guitar. “And the lyric video for Unholy Matrimony is actually getting some traction in the YouTubers React circles so we’ve gotta be doing something right!”

”Call me when we’ve got rappers reacting to our music, THEN we’ll know we’ve made it.” Sarah responded half-jokingly and I gave her a mock annoyed glare. ”Come on Chelsea, it’ll prove that we’ve got some crossover appeal!”

”Maybe, but I draw the line at making the sixth Krawling Khaos album some kind of weird Horrorcore/Death Metal hybrid just because some rappers reacted to us and put it on YouTube!” I protested and the rest of the band actually agreed with me! For one thing we couldn’t rap to save our lives and knew no one in the Chicago music scene who could rap! ”Anyway, I think our next focus track should be Flames of God’s Light, which will probably cause a stir if we ever do a music vid for it!”

“Eh, we should do it in that case,” Taylor asserted and we turned to my guitar teacher/the band’s second guitarist. “No such thing as bad publicity right?”

”I’ll get back to you with what my religious sisters think of that.” I responded with a laugh before turning to the band’s drummer Trent. ”You got the drum track I sent you, right?”

“Yep, nice slow beginning before we launch into the main riff after we use that sample of a woman screaming whilst being consumed by flames.” Trent nodded before pausing and turning to me. “Where did you find that voice clip? That shit was terrifying!”

”Would you believe a Canadian Work Safety PSA?” I asked and the rest of the band gave me a surprised look. ”Seriousl, look it up! I had to cut out some stuff to keep it authentic but Canadians whilst might be a polite bunch for the most part, but they go hardcore with their PSAs!”

“You know what? Let’s look some up after we start brainstorming the main riff.” Julian suggested and the rest of the band nodded in agreement before we did just that.

We ended up regretting the whole Canadian Work Safety PSA idea because like I said, they went hardcore with it, but they at least they got the context!

Chelsea’s promo dungeon, Chicago, Illinois
Saturday the 3rd of March 2023, 16:00pm

*promo time*

I gotta win sometime right?

”Okay, let me get the obvious joke out of the way, this is not my first three way!” I stated before shaking my head. ”And cue me being fired from PWE in 3…..2……, but in all seriousness, my search for my first PWE win of the year has taken me to this week’s opening match where I’m in a Three Way Dance against Maladi and Moniker, if your confused as two who those people are supposed to be, join the fucking club!”

Seriously where do they find these people.

”At least Maladi has a bio on PWE’s website, Moniker on the other hand? I couldn’t find shit when I was looking over the bios and trust me, I searched high and low for this motherfucker and found nothing!” I added as I shook my head with a frown on my face. ”It’s almost enough for me to pine for the days where I wrestled that fucking cat, at least I had some fun with that promo! Ugh, let’s get this over with!”

Starting with Maladi.

”Maladi, The Poison Princess, The Venomous Villainess, Your Favourite Nightmare and other wrestling nicknames dreamt up by wannabe edgelord teenagers who happen to be wrestling fans! Apparently this chick has been in the company since July which is funny because I can’t remember any matches of hers! She was scheduled to compete against Alexander Hate back in January but that match never aired and trust me, I watched that show a few times just to make sure!” I added as I let out a deep breath. ”Am I missing something here?!”

Honestly!

”Well, at least this Triple Threat will make it to air!” I grumbled as I ran a hand through my hair. ”So yeah, even though Maladi is the only opponent with a bio up, I’ve still got fuck all to go on as far as my opponents go!” I added with a frown as I shifted my weight. ”Fuck it, let’s just move on to Moniker! Oh wait, I have even less to go on here because Maladi has a bio up!”

This is a joke.

”I could be recording my band’s new album right now but nah, I’ve got this nothing match to promote!” I sighed as lowered my head. ”I mean at least I’m getting a chance to rebuild myself after the miserable start to the year but even so? I expect better opposition than these two jokers!”

It’s that simple.

”Moniker, Maladi, I don’t know what the bosses expect me to say about either of you but if you looked up “waste of Chelsea Skye’s time” in the extremely specific dictionary, there would be a picture of this match!” I grumbled as I stood up and started pacing around the room. ”If nothing else? The track record of these two means that this will probably be an easy match for me!”

And with that I decided to wrap things up.

”So yeah, I guess there is some good to take away from this!” I stated as I folded my arms. ”Maladi calls herself “Your Favourite Nightmare”, well I’m out here to prove that there’s only room for one nightmare in this match and that’s “The Nightmare Angel” Chelsea Skye and Moniker? I don’t even know what to say about the dude but unless they watch the Skyes above, they will soon learn why the Skyes the Limit!”

I stood up and left the promo dungeon as the scene fades.