Lewis: Yo! What the Fuck!
A stern man standing before him grabs the papers from the desk and crumples them into a ball. Dropping it onto the table. It bounces once as Lewis grabs quickly.
Lewis: What is your problem man!?
Man: In my class you will pay attention.
Lewis: You mean during a test?
Man: Yes, even during a test!
Lewis: What the fuck for? Am I supposed to watch the clock? Learning the intricacies of space-time?
Man: I will not have someone who clearly doesn’t care about this class make a mockery of it by being a distraction to the rest of the people who are paying good money to be here. Not everyone has Daddy the Dean to get them into this fine institution.
Lewis: Okay.
Lewis grabs the crumpled up paper and begins to unravel it. Using his palms against the desk in a vain attempt to get all the creases out. Lewis turns to a student next to him and waves for a pen. Reluctantly the student passes it to him.
Lewis: Thanks bro, good luck.
With his left hand he scribbles his name across the top, and hands it off to the Man.
Lewis: There ya go man. All done. I was doing you a courtesy of not distracting the class by walking out ten minutes into a test, but you had to be all big dick swinging. So let’s really disturb the class.
The snarl on the man’s face could be seen by everyone in the room. Lewis stands up and tosses the pen back to the other student. Then proceeds to spit right in the man's face and gives him a wink.
Without a second to react the man grabs Lewis by the side of the head and begins to drag him out of the classroom. Lewis doesn’t fight back but does break free right before they reach the door. He shoves the man to the side and blows the class a kiss before giving them a bow.
Narrator: Now what you all just saw was Lewis in college. *Pause for Shock* I know, right? That fucking guy was somehow admitted into Stanford, we will get to that shortly, but he’s never been one to follow the rules. He always just does what he wants, when he wants. A fact that is about to crumble his world when his actions meet their consequences. Lewis steps out into the quad, taking a deep breath of the California air. A cute girl rolls past him on a longboard and he takes a longer than normal glance.
Lewis: What to do with the rest of my day?
He looks around and waits for a moment to cross through the people. A little while later he enters his dorm room. The walls are covered with posters, it’s a mess with clothes thrown everywhere, and a nice glass bong sitting on the desk. He quickly grabs it and pulls a lighter out.
Lewis: Don’t mind if I do.
The fire from the lighter nearly touches the end cap of the bong, and just as Lewis is about to make contact his phone rings. Setting the glass piece aside he picks it up and looks at the screen.
Lewis: Fuck Me, already?
He slides his finger across the screen and raises the phone to his ear.
Lewis: Hey Dad…..
Richard Pinkston: Don’t you Hey Dad me. What the fuck were you thinking?!?
Lewis: Honestly? I thought I’d have more time before they called you.
Richard: Real funny smartass. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to have one of the faculty call me, about you, when your mother and I are on vacation?
Lewis: That’s why I thought I had more time.
Richard: Lew, you have to play nice with people. Even if you’re just pretending.
Lewis: But why? They are all morons and talk too slow.
Richard: Because no one likes to know that they are the dumb one in the room.
Lewis: That’s not my fault they are all idiots.
Richard: See that right there. Kiddo you don’t know everything.
Lewis: Give me a book and twenty minutes and I can.
Richard: That’s not the point. I put my reputation on the line. Perfect SAT scores or not, no school would touch you because of your previous infractions.
Lewis: You know the story.
Richard: Yeah I do, and it still boggles my mind to this day how someone as smart as you could throw it all away without a care in the world.
Lewis: That’s not fair and you know it…
Richard: Son, listen to me. I’m not going to be able to get this one swept under the rug. The Board is already on my ass.
Lewis: What does that mean?
Richard: You’re the smartest guy in the room, you tell me. You’re a seventeen year old kid, at Stanford and you just spit on the chair of the English department.
Lewis: I’ll apologize to him.
Richard: Yeah kid, I don’t think that’s going to cut it this time. You’re technically an adult now, and actions have consequences.
Lewis: Fine, whatever.
The phone line goes dead. Lewis holds the phone to his ear for a beat longer than normal.
Lewis: FUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK!
In an instant of pure rage the phone is thrown across the room, shattering upon impact with the wall. He places his head in his hands as the dope star fades across the screen.
Narrator: That moment. Right there was the moment Lewis knew his world was crumbling down. He would no longer be able to coast under the watchful eye of his parents. Little did he know that he was about to embark on a journey that would make him the man he is to this day.
Ophelia reluctantly moves Lewis off of her, the rapping of Walt on the other side of the door stopped them from what was sure to be an impromptu cardio session.
Ophelia: You know that’s not that bad.
Lewis: Looking back at it now, yeah. If any one thing was changed I wouldn’t be laying in this bed, next to a beautiful woman, who is my wife.
Ophelia: Well hindsight.
Lewis: I wouldn’t have all of these tattoos.
Ophelia Running a hand down his chest):[/bold] I like your tattoos.
Lewis: Yeah I do too. Each one reminds me of a time and place. It’s like my own messed up version of Memento. That night I went out and got my first tattoo.
Ophelia: Which one is that?
Lewis(Holding out his right hand): This ‘Reborn’ one. From that day forward I set out to break the mold that the World put me in. I was always supposed to be something of an academic, but that’s not what I wanted. I never wanted to be stuck in a classroom all day.
Ophelia: So it was a good thing.
Lewis: It was a great thing.
The knocking on the door continues, but has gotten louder, and slightly more violent. Ophelia sighs while standing up from the bed. Just a pair of boy shorts and tank top, she grabs one of Lewis’ hoodies from a neatly folded pile and slips it on.
Ophelia: If I don’t get downstairs and start making breakfast Walt is going to lose his shit.
Lewis: I can tell.
Ophelia: Come on, let’s go.
Lewis: I’m gonna hang here for a minute. I’ll be down in a second.
Ophelia: Okay love.[/center
Much to the dismay of Lewis, Ophelia walks out of the room and the tone in which she begins to reprimand Walt and Tilly brings a smile to his face. Leaning back on the bed Lewis begins to rub his finger over the wedding band. At first he mindlessly spins it, then like the overgrown man-child he is he begins to mimic clearly a sexual act with it. Amused with himself, he stands up from the bed and walks over to the body length mirror. His eyes keep going back to the ring. A smile comes across his face.
Narrator: Breakfast went about as well as you could expect. Walt being Walt, I’m sure we will cover that later. Tilly being a typical teenager, and Ophelia trying her best to be the one to hold it all together. You know for how much of an idiot Lewis is, he sure as hell knows when he’s lucky. His own family may not have respect for his decisions, but here in Tennessee, those things in the past didn’t matter. Soon after breakfast Lewis had made his way into the town, when he came across a shady looking tattoo parlor. Now a normal human wouldn’t go in there, but this is Lewis after all.
Lewis shrugged his shoulders and walked right in taking a seat on a pleather chair. Lewis leaned back on the clearly 70’s inspired seat and began twiddling his thumbs.
Lewis: You know what I like about tattoos? The permanence. They are with you forever. Well kinda. You can get them removed, but that’s a whole different story. That and they tell a story. Whether it’s a butterfly tattoo on your ankle to symbolize your first trip to Miami during spring break or a portrait of a deceased family member to keep by your side forever.
He leans forward resting his elbows on top of his knees.
Lewis: Yet when people look at mine, I’m dismissed. They are sloppy. They are pointless. They are ugly. I’ve heard it all and it really sucks that people are so quick to judge. Like what have I done that is so bad? Did I hurt you? Are you scared of me? Jealous?
The sound of “Ms New Booty” ‘plays from Lewis’ phone as he swipes to check the message from Ophelia.
Lewis: Ohh look at that, my lovely wife has decided to lay the law down. Apparently I have some research to do, but in order to keep it to a minimum time away from her, she’s decided to do it for me. Let’s see what talking points she’s come up with for us shall we?
Lewis: Failed comedian, why am I not surprised by this? Like I know I’m not funny to everyone, but dammit if I don’t try. The thing with calling yourself a failure is that you’ve stopped. Maybe you should, I don’t know, not. Failure is only a failure if you don’t learn anything. Clearly we can all see that you’ve learned nothing.
Lewis: Then there’s a fucking cat. Wait, that can’t be right. Nope. It’s legit. It’s a fucking cat. Maybe I’ll bring a can of tuna and set it off to the side of the ring. I don’t want any animals to get hurt. PETA would be on our ass. Or maybe I’ll take the cat in the corner of the ring and pet it. We all know how much I loved pus—-
Lewis: Get your minds out of the gutter. Speaking of gutters, ahoy Taylor. I see that you shame people for finding your OnlyFans site that you set up to exploit lonely men who are just looking for some interaction. Good for you, you’ll be the next person I add to my list.
Lewis: And as if there weren't enough people to add to my bitch list, there’s Klayton Kross. Come on bro, be real with me, are you a bitch or just a nerd who doesn’t know how to talk to women? Just tell Addy that you wanna smash, it’s not that hard here I’ll do it for you.
Lewis pulls out his phone and fires up Twitter. After a few seconds of typing he holds up his phone
.
Lewis: See?!? How hard was that? You dumb bitch. Don’t say I didn’t do anything to help you.
Lewis: And then there was the Prophet. Mr Ayala hellbent on bloodshed and despair. With his wife by his side he claims that there will be no one holier than thou and only he can see the end. I’ve seen nothing of you but you come off as stiff as a board. The only thing stiff on me is my——
Lewis: Never mind. As for the rest of you, I don’t want to drone on and on. Hell I barely have the attention span to name all of you. I’m sure eventually I’ll see all of you on the bitch list at one point or another.
The phone plays once again as Lewis looks down at the screen.
Lewis: Ugh fine. Pheely said I have to at least mention some people from the other matches even if I don’t want to. So I guess I’ll just go with the people I think are going to win them. Why waste my time and yours?
Lewis: Kayla “The Cunt Supreme” Richards or Lachlan Kane. It’s really a toss up between two people who don’t give a singluar fuck about me, or even know who I am. But that’s not to say I don’t know anything about them. Like—-uhhh—-fuck me. I don’t know all I know is that once it’s all settled and we move onto the second round… wait there are rounds here right? Anyways. I fully expect one of them to be standing there across from—-
Lewis: Betsy Granger. Hey you look familiar, didn’t I just try to get your sisters gash pumped? I did! Wow if you’re looking for someone to help you with any of that—- Wait Raven. That’s all anyone is going to say about you. Blah Blah Blah. Raven this, Raven that. Time Travel this. Time Travel that. Hey girl, your retaining coil is off by thirty five degrees and the core stabilization needs to be upgraded or else you might end up vaporized lost to the time stream. You’re welcome.
Lewis: And finally there’s the second match. No one cares. They are just fodder for anyone that advances and makes it to the second round. An easy bye if there ever was one. Thanks for participating in the play-in game. Your services will no longer be needed after that.
A gruff looking man walks into the frame. Lewis quickly puts his phone in his pocket and follows behind him. The sounds of a tattoo gun buzzing fills the shop. After an hour or so Lewis comes walking out from the back, and right out the shop door. A little while later Lewis walks in the door of Ophelia’s house and is immediately tackled by his paramour.
Ophelia: I was getting worried about you.
Lewis: Thanks Babe, but I’m fine as you can see.
He gently lifts her off of him as they both get to their feet. She grabs him by the hand and leads him to the dining area. Once there the table is set for two.
Lewis: No Walt or Tilly?
Ophelia: Nope. Just the two of us.
Lewis: Dope.
They both take their seats.
Lewis: O, there’s something I need to give you.
Ophelia: What more could you possibly give me?
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wedding band. A look of shock, horror and sadness comes across Ophelia’s face. Tears begin to well up in the corners of her eyes. Lewis quickly waves his hands.
Lewis: No—-no——no. Look.
He shows her his left hand. On his ring finger there is a ring tattoo. Inside of it, in small letters it say, “WLD Ophelia”. She takes a moment to read it and then once again is in the lap of Lewis. Kissing him up and down. He can barely get an explanation out, but somehow manages.
Lewis: I’d lose the ring. This way you’re with me no matter what happens. I mean unless I get involved with the Mexican Drug Cartel again.
Ophelia pulls away with a perplexed look on her face.
Ophelia: What do you mean again?
Narrator: Well that’s just a story for a different time. Is Lewis ready for what is about to happen next? Probably not. Is he willing to make himself a fool for everyone to see? You know it. Yet deep down inside of him, you can tell this is something he wants. Not for pride, or showing that he isn’t afraid of Betsy Granger or that he’s even competent. No, he’s doing it for her. Anything to impress his wife. Huh, would you look at that…. It is nice to say.
