[JMONT] A Crazy Ride you dont want to miss! [JMONT]

[If you have been following the career of JMont, then you will know that this man has been on fire the last year. But, there is one place that you can say that the fire has been put out or at least cooled down for the moment. PWE seems to be the place where JMont just can't keep any consistency going. Everything started off great when at Victory XI, his big debut. He went into the Impulse Championship Ironman Match against Emily Williams, Jensen Lane, Jurgen Kaiser, Brandon Hendrix, Angel, and Betsy Granger. And of course, came out on top and walked away with the Impulse Championship. Then at Victory XII, Charlie Jones thought she was cute and teamed with my brother Paul to take on Peach Dillenger and Mia Castillo. Once again, JMont does all the work and picks up another win for the team. Things are rolling at this point. Then Victory XIII is where the wheels started to come off. JMont as the Impulse Champ got his chance in the Main Event to face the Excellence Champ Allen Chaney. A match everyone wanted to see. JMont had this match one before he made a bad slip and before you know it, Chaney got the pin on JMont. A loss to this day that he won't let himself live down until he gets a chance to fix it. But, losing to the World Champ is not the end of the world and does not drop you far in the rankings or company. And after that loss, a pissed off JMont had a chance to pick things back up at Victory XIV against Jason Long in a match that most said would be as violent as any. Well, the match didn't happen thanks to Brother Paul taking Jason out before the bell even sounded. The match was called off and JMont just stood there even more pissed off than ever. Revenge against Brother Paul was the next mission, but also getting back on track was the other. And what better way to do that than at one of the biggest PPV’s of the year, REBIRTH. Charlie Jones pitted Wraith, and Chelsea Skye versus JMont in a triple threat match for the Impulse Championship at Frontierland. And of course, if you were a smart better, you would have taken JMont because after a loss to Chaney, and a match against Jason Long that didn't happen, he was out to prove a point. And the point was proven as JMont walked out with his title. The most hated man in the company was getting things back on track. Then getting 2 shows off because the big match was about to happen at the Tara Fenix Charity Event where PWE had one of the Main Events booked with the Impulse Title on the line. And this time around, Jason Long showed up to take on JMont. And with the battle these 2 men had, everyone was surprised that someone could stand up. But, Jason Long was the last man standing holding the Impulse Title over JMont. The roller coaster career in the PWE continues, but insiders are saying that JMont could have won that match, but he let up at the end because there was a tournament from the PWE called, CALL YOUR SHOT! But, if you were a champion, you were not allowed to enter and the winner got to pick what champion they wanted to go after. This was almost like a dream for JMont. He knew he could win the tournament and get his revenge on Chaney and face him for the Excellence title. Well, at CALL YOUR FIRST SHOT and CALL YOUR SHOT RELOADED which were for Victory XVII and XVIII is where the roller coaster got back on track again as JMont defeated Maladi in the first round. Then, all the drama started with the other contestants. Double count outs and pregnancy. None of that mattered to JMont as he ended up being declared the winner and now the new #1 contender for the Excellence Championship held by Allen Chaney. JMont gets the man he wants and a chance at the title he wants. The wheels are back in motion. But that was until MAGNIFICENCE II, where JMont had a match against Enigma. A great veteran in the game, but JMont did what most people do when they know they have the big one coming to them. He overlooked Enigma and that cost him the match at the end. So, just when you think everything is good, here comes the roller coaster again. JMont loses another. He declared he needs the next show off to regroup and figure out what the fuck is going on. So, JMont does what he does best and gets a master plan in place for Victory XIX which he is not a part of. Staying quiet and out of the public eye for the PWE, he went out and got the support of his best friend and former Excellence Champ Vhodka Black. She was his guest as Joey Chestnut after the Main Event concluded. When that mask came off, the fans went nuts and Chaney was in deep shock. But, that's not the best shock. When they opened the barrel and grabbed two cannons full of raw hot dogs, they shot the champ, until the ring was full. The show went off the air and the message was sent. JMont knew he was in the head of Chaney and getting things back in motion. But, Charlie Jones wasn't a fan of this and almost fired JMont. But, instead, she did the next best thing she could do. Victory XX, she is teaming JMont up with Enigma who just defeated him against Tara and Damian Ayla. This is almost like a set up if you look at it. But JMont knows he has to show up in order to keep his World Title Match intact. Can JMont make things work with Enigma to get the win and get back on track or will the Ayla’s keep this roller coaster of a career here in the PWE for JMont going?]

[And if you think JMont’s roller coaster is the biggest, you are wrong. Sure, he has one of the biggest egos and johnsons around, but his roller coaster is secondary when it comes to Kingda Ka which is located at the Six Flags in New Jersey. You thought the Jersey Shore was the main attraction but you are wrong again. You need to be taller than Snooki to get on this ride. It’s the tallest and fastest roller coaster around. The tracks go up to 45 stories high, which for you math nerds is 456 feet high. You will also go from 0 to 128 in 3.5 seconds. Fuck Jeff Gordon’s race car, it has nothing on the Kingda Ka. And it tops off with a 129 foot camel hump. Needless to say, this roller coaster is the one that truly relates to JMont’s career in the PWE.]

[And what better way to continue this than having JMont at The Stratosphere in Las Vegas. This is pretty much the new home for him, Mia and Baby GMont. Reason for the move to Vegas at this time is that Mia is in the football league based out of there, and JMont wrestles a lot of shows at the CCPE arena in Vegas and just got signed to the baseball team. Makes the most sense, so they don't have to have Baby GMont traveling all over the world at 6 months old. But, getting back to the Stratosphere, it's one of the tallest, freestanding towers in all of the United States. At the top of Stratosphere, you will find two observation decks as well as a restaurant and some tower shops. And that is where you will find JMont today. Standing out on the deck, looking out at the beautiful view that Vegas has to offer.]

JMont: What a great city!

[JMont looks over and sees a young man walking towards him, wearing a vest with a name tag. The name is not visible until he gets closer, and at that point, JMont sees the name tag and decides to become a COMEDIAN.]

JMont: Hey, I got a joke for you. What do the Las Vegas Raiders and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?

Worker: No idea sir.

JMont: Neither one of them shows up for work on Sunday!

[The worker laughs, but his team is the Raiders, so it stings a little.]

Worker: Once we get Aaron Rodgers this year in a trade, we will be back at the top. Rodgers to Adams again will be the talk of the football league.

JMont: Rodgers is coming to my Jets. You guys will be lucky to get a decent QB that wants to come here. You're going to end up with Polk High legend Al Bundy, or Bayside’s great AC Slater. Or maybe Alex Moran from Blue Mountain State is tired of being a gym teacher and wants to come out of retirement.

Worker: Just watch and see my Raiders win the AL West!

JMont: Well, let me ask you this. How many Raider fans does it take to change a light bulb?

Worker: This is going to end up being so dumb.

JMont: NONE, they are all happy living in the Broncos shadow. You get that Bronco?

[JMont said that last joke because the name tag of this young worker says Bronco. His parents must have been listening to some Pink Floyd and doing some top of the notch shrooms when they picked this name out for this young man. Working in Raider nation with the name Bronco can't be fun.]

Bronco: I don't need to listen to anything you have to say anymore!

JMont: What are you going to do? Buck up and try to run me over like your a 2023 Bronco with all that pussy 275 horsepower?

[Bronco puts his head down and walks away. JMont just ruined this young man's day i'm sure.]

JMont: Oh well, some people can't take a joke. I guess some people dont have humor like Sal, Murr, Joe and Q.

[JMont goes back to his sight seeing ways. He does miss New York City, but right now, this view might be changing his mind. Seeing the Fontainebleau. The Palazzo at the Venetian. The Cosmopolitan Casino. Aria Resort and Casino. The list goes on forever. JMont has made plenty of money at those casinos as well as making some nice donations. Just like his PWE career, you win some and you lose some. You win some big time matches and you lose some big time hands.]

[Being up at 1149 feet is amazing. Scary for most, and a sight to see for others. JMont needed to get out of the house today and be alone. Wanting to have some alone time and work on all these thoughts in his head. His schedule is busier than Sahara’s ONLYFANS live schedule, and that's pretty busy.]

JMont: At the end of the day, I have a job to do, and I need to get it done. Whether they stack the odds against me, or I do it to myself, there is only one thing to do. WIN! I need to get the momentum back on my side because my big rematch with Allen The Hot Dog Chaney is coming up soon. Sure, I fired some shots last show, but they were just a warning. The big shot will come when a JKO connects with him in the center of the ring and I leave with the Excellence Championship. I will be back on top of the world like where I am standing right now. That is why I came here. To envision myself being back on the top where I belong. Standing over everyone that thinks they are better than me. There is only a select few in this business that are better than me, and I won't feed their ego by listing their names. But, they know who they are because we have talked about it. But, once again, I need to learn to not jump the gun and FOCUS on the task at hand. I cannot let my thoughts in my head push me forward when I need to worry about what is about to be in front of me.

[JMont walks away from the edge, where he was enjoying the view and takes a few steps which lead him to the restaurant. He waits at the front desk so he can be seated. Already pissing off one worker, he is trying to keep the peace for now. And a few more moments go by before a young lady approaches him. And he cannot believe his eyes. The name tag says Sahara on it. Is JMont dreaming or is there another Sahara in this world? Thoughts of throwing her through a table have crossed his mind but he knows this is the wrong Sahara to do it too.]

JMont: That is a nice name. I know a Sahara back in New York, and she is truly one of the biggest sluts in the world.

[The look on her face is one she wants to put some baby powder on her hands and slap the shit out of JMont.]

Sahara: I really don't appreciate that kind of talk sir.

JMont: It was a joke. Relax! Damn, it's hard to be a comedian nowadays. What's next? I'm gonna get hit in the face with a hot dog?

Sahara: No, but I will get my boyfriend to kick your ass!

JMont: You do realize I am 6’6 and 250 pounds right?

Sahara: That doesn't matter. My boyfriend Bronco will never back down from a battle.

[JMont starts to crack up because there is no way two people have the same name Bronco.]

JMont: And does he work here too?

Sahara: Yes he does. I’m about to call him.

JMont: When you do, ask him if he's going to defend your honor using his 275 horsepower against me.

Sahara: What does that mean?

JMont: Don't worry, just ask!

[Sahara pulls out her cell phone from her back pocket and makes a call. She turns her back to JMont, but he can hear her whole conversation. She is arguing with her boyfriend on the phone. I guess he is not coming to the rescue because she is ripping him a new asshole. Calling him a pussy. A bitch. A Dickless Asshole. She must have heard about Dickless Dane. Before it gets any worse, because she is at work, she hangs up the call and places the phone back in her back pocket.]

Sahara: Table for one i'm assuming?

JMont: Where is ol Bronco at?

Sahara: That's not important right now. Do you want to be seated?

JMont: Yes, and close to a TV too please.

[Sahara walks JMont over to a small table that is close to the bar and TV.]

Sahara: Can I get you a drink?

JMont: Let me get a VHODKA and red bull!

[She walks away and JMont is just chillin at the moment. Ordering a drink after his best friend is just a way to show his appreciation.]

JMont: I cant believe how many people got butt hurt last show that Vhodka came out to show me support and be by my side. She is one of my best friends and the godmother to Baby GMont. Plus, i have been trying to get her to come back to the PWE so after i beat Chaney, i can defend my title against her in a big rematch from the OPW days. FUCK! There I go again. Looking ahead and not worrying about the task at hand. I don't want to end up like the Cincinnati Bengals and get knocked out before the big game. I want to be like the Eagles. Knock mutha fuckers out and move on to the Championship. But before I can do that, I have to put my differences aside with Enigma and work as a team. I will have to admit, I was very shocked at how well Enigma came at me in our match. I wasn't expecting half of the stuff he threw at me to be honest. I was kinda impressed with it but I will let you know one thing. If we face off again down the line, the results will be very different. This time around, I will make sure I don't overlook you. I will make sure I study up on some tape of you so I'm ready for what you throw at me. But congratulations on your big win over me. And I'm sure you want to keep your streak going with another win on this show too. But that means you have to work with me and not against me. Unless you have a plan with the Ayls’s that I don't know about. Either way, I just know I'm showing up and I plan on leaving with my hand raised. I'm getting this train back on the right track. I'm tired of this roller coaster here in the PWE. It’s starting to give me a headache that not even BC Powder can help with.

[Sahara comes over with the drink, and places it on the table.]

Sahara: Would you like to order any appetizers or just a main meal?

JMont: Just give me the Grilled Salmon with rice and asparagus. Make it nice and simple.

Sahara: I will get your order in right away.

[Sahara walks away, but turns around quickly.]

Sahara: Didnt you lose to Enigma recently?

[She laughs and walks off before J Mont could even get a word in.]

JMont: Wait til that bitch sees her tip. I'm telling you, she is the long lost daughter of Sahara back in New York. I think Thaddeus needs to know about this.

[JMont takes a sip of his Vhodka and RedBull. Then says FUCK IT! Chugs the whole thing down faster than Tyreke Hill running the 40 yard dash.]

JMont: Man, now that was a drink. Can’t say the same about Canada. Nothing good has come out of there. Especially that guy Damian Ayla. I can't believe I have to face a guy who uses his wife's conditioner for his own hair. Get your own Dove Ultra Daily Concentrate Conditioner for men you bitch. What are you going to do during this tag match? Hide behind your wife the whole time, or are you going to be a man and step up to the next World Champion? And I know that stings you because you had that title and lost it to my bestie Vhodka. And we are going to keep it in the family and you're gonna lose to me next. You may think this is a chance to get you a step closer to the World Title, but it’s not. This is just a warm up match for me before I face Chaney. And, what a way to enter the PPV with a win over the FORMER World Champ and his moose of a wife.

[JMont is impatiently waiting for another drink.]

JMont: The service sucks here just like you do Damian. I'm not for one minute scared of you and don't give two shits about all of your accolades. Your time is up. You need to do what Tom Brady did and just retire and call it a day. Brady is a GOAT, you are a JACKASS! And I'm going to show the world just what a true piece of shit you are. You think you had the match of the year with Allen Chaney, but what happened? He is still the champion, not you. The PWE doesn't need you anymore. You are in the rear view mirror now. You're the PAST! The Present is loaded with talents like myself and Enigma. And if you don't believe that, just watch me show you just what italians do when someone likes to run their mouth. I'm going to bury you, just like I did with GOTH in the CCPE versus the World. But this time, I'm going to give you a special goodbye. And i'm not going to play the N’Sync song either

BYE BYE BYE

JMont: I know that Dane Preston still has a crush on Justin Timberlake but that's not important right now. What is though is that you are going to get buried under the sidewalk when I get done with you. I'm going to walk all over that sidewalk just to remind you that I am the FOUNDATION of this company. And I will have the blueprint to prove it after I get rid of you and beat Chaney.

[Sahara walks over with the food, and drops it on the table.]

Sahara: I hope you enjoy your food.

JMont: Can I get another drink?

Sahara: Nope!

[Sahara walks away thinking she just won this battle, but if anyone knows JMont, they know he won't go down without a fight. JMont gets up and walks towards the bar.]

JMont: I need to speak to a manager.

Bartender: Let me get Raven for you.

JMont: Jesus Christ, I must have been drugged or something. A Bronco. A Sahara, and now A Raven.

[JMont goes back to his table and starts to eat some grilled salmon.]

JMont: People need to be reminded sometimes of just who in the hell I am. A lot of people think of JMont as just a loud rich asshole. It may be true, but there is so much more than that. I'm a great father, as well as future husband to Mia. I'm one of the biggest requested celebrities for the Make a Wish Foundation. I'm one of the biggest supporters of hospitals and research centers. I do a lot that people don't want to give me credit for. But I don't want to toot my own horn. I know what I do and my small circle knows how good of a guy I am. Reason i bring this all up is because I know Damian is going to talk all this smack about the negative things I have done in my life. I know I am not perfect, but no one is. I'm trying to correct mistakes I have made in the past and work on my temper and attitude. But, when this match happens, i'm going to have all the anger and attitude in the world because i don't like the Ayla’s and never will. I'm getting ready to send them both to heaven because I'm a nice guy. I don't want to divide them up or leave them hanging. I know I said I was going to bury Damian under the sidewalk, so I need to make sure I have a space for Tara too. I cannot forget about her. And you are all probably wondering how they are going to go to heaven if they are buried under the sidewalk. Their bodies will be walked all over but their spirits will go to heaven where they can teach some of that Canadian History.

[JMont sees a manager walking his way. He puts down the fork and stands up.]

Manager: Hello, my name is Raven and I heard you were unhappy with your service.

JMont: Yes James, I mean Raven. I asked for another drink, and that young lady Sahara told me NOPE! And walked away.

Raven: I am so sorry. I will make sure your meal and drinks are taken care of and that the bartender makes sure you are satisfied for the rest of your time here.

JMont: I don't want anything for free. I just want a drink and someone else to help me. That Sahara girl is not going to make it here with that attitude. She will be dancing for dollars before we know it.

Raven: I'm sorry you feel that way. Let me get the bartender La’Tara over for you.

[Raven walks away and JMont is now really confused. He feels like he is in a terrible dream.]

JMont: Something strange is going on here. But once again, I can't let it get me sidetracked. Damian has Tara he can count on to have his back. I hope I can count on Enigma to have mine. You got a married couple who has worked together plenty of times and knows how to be a well oiled machine. Then you have myself and Enigma. I'm a former tag champ all over, so I know how to work with others. Just hoping I can trust my partner. And Tara, I haven't forgotten about you. I just hate it. I hate to hurt my neck to look down at you. I'm a foot taller than you and the only GRIEF you're going to have is when I take your husband's head off. And knowing you let it happen right in front of you. There is nothing you can do to stop it. I am the Devil and you can kiss your husband goodbye. I know you don't say a lot and you don't have to. I will do all the talking in and out of the ring. It’s what I do best.

[Out of nowhere, here comes BRONCO again.]

Bronco: You got my girl written up and sent home.

JMont: She deserved it for how she treated me.

Bronco: You're an asshole.

JMont: Thanks for the compliment.

Bronco: I should kick your ass.

JMont: What are you going to do? You're the size of Screech Powers. I can see it now. You are going to be a BUCKING BRONCO and give me a spinning heel kick.

Bronco: Just watch your back.

[Bronco walks away and JMont just laughs.]

JMont: I love how all these small people think they have a fighting chance against a man of my stature. And all i have to do is turn on the TWIZTED switch and its lights out for anyone. I promised Mia I would control that side of me, but people are really pushing me to turn that switch back on full time. I don't want to scare my girl or the baby, but it's coming to that. Damian and Tara, I dare you to make me turn it on. And if you do, it's going to be lights out for you both. And even if you don't turn that switch on, I'm still going to make sure you realize that stepping into the ring with me is death.

TIL DEATH DO US PART

JMont: I hope you remember that from your wedding vows because it's about to happen. The PWE is about to be put on notice and be warned that JMont is back and I'm getting control of this roller coaster. It’s about to get back on track and it starts with knocking off the Ayla’s and then taking down the cry baby champion that you have.

[La’Tara walks over to check on JMont.]

La’Tara: Is everything good here?

JMont: Sahara is a whore. Bronco is a pussy. Raven has no management skills whatsoever. You seem OK! Don't even worry about a bill. Here is 500 bucks. I’m done here.

La’Tara: I'm sorry you had a bad experience. Maybe we can meet up later for some drinks and dancing downtown?

JMont: I am happily taken and would never cheat on my girl. Maybe you can ask that Raven guy. I can tell he has never seen the pants come off a woman.

[JMont throws 5 one hundred dollar bills on the table and walks away from La’Tara. On the way out, he notices a table that is eating some hot dogs. He walks over to them.]

JMont: I hope they are of the Nathan’s Famous brand.

Guy At The Table: Hell Yeah they are. Joey Chestnut for President!

[JMont’s high fives the guy.]

JMont: I'm going to handle your bill today too.

[JMont drops another five hundred dollar bills on the table.]

JMont: I will give you another five hundred bucks if you throw your hot dog at that guy over there with the Raven name tag on.

Guy At The Table: You're on!

[The guy at the table, grabs his half eaten hot dog and pulls it out of the bun. His arm goes back like he is Henry Rowengartner from Rookie of the Year. And here is the pitch.]

BAM!

[The half eaten hot dog hits Raven in the back of the head. Raven turns around but didnt know who hit him with the hot dog. The man that threw it sat back down quickly and continued to eat his food. JMont is standing up at their table, laughing and looking at Raven. But there is nothing he can do because he knows JMont didn't order a hot dog. JMont reaches into his pocket and slips the man another five hundred cash for a job well done.]

JMont: Be happy you didn't get shot with a cannon and only got a half of a dog to the back of your head.

[Raven looks mad but JMont leaves the restaurant before anything else can happen. Back outside of the Stratosphere now, he is once again looking at the beautiful city of Vegas.]

JMont: That was truly less hot dog there, but I promise you the violence I bring will leave Damian and Tara in a pool of their own blood. See you soon Allen Chestnut, I mean Chaney.

[JMont turns around and makes his way towards the double deck elevator as he has had enough of this place. He enters the elevator and the door closes. It then drops at about 21 MPH and he's gone, just like the World Title from Allen soon enough. The roller coaster will be getting back on track. Stay Tuned!]

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