PERSONAL STATS.
NAME: Allen Chaney
AGE & BIRTHDATE: 34, September 30th 1987
HEIGHT: 6'4"
WEIGHT: 315 LBS.
HOMETOWN: Kansas City, MO
CHARACTER COLOR CODE: #c0ae16
PICTURE BASE: Kevin Steen/Owens
PROFESSIONAL STATS.
PERFORMER NAME: Allen Chaney
ALIAS/MONIKER: The Comedian
BILLED FROM: Kansas City, MO
PROFESSIONAL DEBUT: 2009
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Tables
MOST PREFERRED MATCH TYPES: Fewer rules the better
LEAST PREFERRED MATCH TYPES: Anything involving fire. Yo, fuck fire.
WHY THEY COMPETE: Therapy
ENTRANCE THEME: 'Shimmy Shimmy Ya' by Ol Dirty Bastard
ENTRANCE DESCRIPTION
"Aw fuck you can't even sing. Ya gotta sing to get some pussy."
The Richard Pryor quote followed by the piano intro of ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya’ plays and Allen emerges from the curtain.
‘Ooh, baby, I like it raw
Yeah baby, I like it raw
Ooh, baby, I like it raw
Yeah baby, I like it raw
Shimmy shimmy ya, shimmy yam, shimmy yay
Gimme the mic so I can take it away
Off on a natural charge, bon voyage
Yeah, from the home of the Dodgers, Brooklyn squad’
Allen stops and looks around the crowd with a bit of a smirk until suddenly there is a change and attitude. He suddenly leans down to slam his fists on the ramp before popping back up to release what can only be described as a roar.
‘Wu-Tang Killer Bees on a swarm
Rain on ya college ass, disco dorm
For you to even touch my skill
You gotta have the one killer Bee and he ain't gonna kill now
Chop that down, pass it all around
Lyrics get hard, quick cement to the ground
For any MC in any 52 states
I get psycho killer, Norman Bates
My producer slam, flow is like bam
Jump on stage and then I get down’
Allen makes his way down the ramp and stop every few steps to talk to the fans about how his opponent for the night has no clue what their in for or about how they smell like baked milk or about how he saw them changing in the backstage area and one of their testicles is comically bigger than the other.
‘Ooh, baby, I like it raw
Yeah baby, I like it raw
Ooh, baby, I like it raw
Yeah baby, I like it raw’
Allen marches up the ring steps and enters the ring through the middle and top ropes, giving the referee a friendly pat on the back before going to his corner and sitting down, on the middle turnbuckle, focused but also kind of vibing to his own entrance theme.
ALIGNMENT
Chaotic Neutral
GIMMICK
World-weary and incredibly violent comedian now doing some soul-searching through therapy. Starred in a critically panned wrestling sitcom that was canceled and lashed out at the world. Now coming to terms with his anxiety and working on himself through the healthy means of hurting people.
RING PSYCHOLOGY (IN-RING ATTITUDE)
A trash-talker who likes to throw his weight around in both the literal and non-literal sense.
WRESTLING STYLE
(SELECT A MAX OF TWO)
HIGH FLYER: Your character uses their body as a projectile, throwing themselves from dangerous heights in new and creative ways to best incapacitate their opponents.
POWERHOUSE: Your character relies on brute strength and size to simply throw their opponents around the ring, using high impact moves - often to make up for sub par technical capabilities.
ATTITUDE TOWARDS CHEATING
OCCASIONAL
STRENGTHS
1. SELECTIVE MORALITY- Allen will fight his best friends like they are his worst enemy and is honestly angry if he is treated any differently. He will hang out and buy you lunch before the show and after the bell rings he will stomp your head into a folding chair. He has almost no limits to what he'll do to an opponent.
2. SEND IN THE FLYING FAT MAN- Allen is surprisingly agile for a man his size and is pretty good at finding creative ways of throwing his weight around. No one likes taking a moonsault but it's a new kind of awful taking one from a 350+ pound Comedian.
3. BIG MOUTH- Allen talks a lot of shit in an effort to piss his opponents off and he's pretty darn good at it. He can make his opponents sloppy with a few well-placed cutting remarks
WEAKNESSES
1. 'TOO' VIOLENT?- Allen has been known to go too far and get himself disqualified on a few occasions.
2. HE LIKES PASTA- Allen gets paid well. Doordash exists. He's in better shape than his appearance would suggest but the simple fact is that he gets gassed/winded faster than your average 200 pound in-ring gymnast.
3. BIG MOUTH, BUT AS A WEAKNESS ALSO- Sometimes Allen's shit-talking makes his opponent sloppy. other times it just makes them want to hit him harder. It's not a perfect science.
ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT DO
Apologize for anything he does during a match
Eat Onions. They are gross.
Will never harm a cat. He might joke about it but he would NEVER.
ACHIEVEMENTS
- BWF World Champion (1)
- BWF Tag Team Champion (1; w/ Spyke Gein)
- RXW Tag Team Champion (1; w/ Alison James)
- AoWF World Champion (1)
- REBEL Pro #1 Contenders Cup Holder
- UX Undisputed Tag Team Champion (1; w/ Madison Dyson)
- PWA World Champion
- REBEL Pro World Champion
-OATH Pro Wrestling Intrepid Champion
MOVESET.
FINISHING TECHNIQUES
[MOVES THAT CHARACTERS GENERALLY WILL NOT KICK OUT FROM UNLESS DESPERATE -- MAX TWO]
1. THE PUNCHLINE - Awful Waffle/Omega Driver
2. HECKLER CONTROL - Curb Stomp
SIGNATURE TECHNIQUES
[MOVES POPULARLY USED BY THE CHARACTER -- MAX FOUR]
1. SMOOTH ELBOWS (A SERIES OF ELBOW STRIKES BASED ON THE GRAMMY-AWARD WINNING 1999 HIT SMOOTH BY SANTANA FEATURING ROB THOMAS OF MATCHBOX TWENTY OFF THE MULTI-PLATINUM ALBUM SUPERNATURAL)- Bionic Elbows
2. THE SET-UP - Dr. Bomb (replaced with a gutwrench powerbomb if he needs to put someone through a table)
3. WATCH THE FUNNY FAT FUCK FLY (WTFFFF) - Triple Jump Moonsault
4. MAKIN PANCAKES- Running Senton Splash
BASIC MOVESET
1. Gutwrench Suplex
2. STO
3. Swinging Neckbreaker
4. Cactus Clothesline
5. Bearhug
6. Dropkick
7. Lou Thesz Press (with strikes)
8. Tope Con Hilo
9. Superkick
10. Corner Slingshot Splash
CHARACTER BACKGROUND.
SUPPORTING CAST
Daniel Fitzsimmons [David Boreanaz]
Manager. Does not appear on camera. CD Exclusive.
Dr. Howell [Keith David]
Therapist. Does not appear on camera. CD Exclusive.
Bill [Pepper]
Allen's cat. Appears on camera in segments.
BIOGRAPHY
A former five-time World Champion. Allen Chaney was trained by Johnny Maverick and unleashed on the AOWF finding early success as both a Wrestler and a Standup comedian known for his humorous take on the wrestling industry. Optimistic at the start, failed relationships, failed gigs, and the cancellation of a sitcom he starred in and was credited as head writer of have left Allen bitter and cynical. With COVID dashing any chance he had of making a return to standup or even getting his job as a nightclub bouncer back, Allen made his return to pro wrestling in OATH Pro Wrestling, establishing what he called the beginning of his 'Must-See Massacre', an effort to prove to the world he could pull in ratings by being the most insufferable and terrible human imaginable.
The real Allen suffers from crippling anxiety and used his bad attitude as a means to keep others away from him, preferring a self-imposed isolation to being social with anyone aside from his cat and his very limited social circle. His time in PWE saw a merging of both the ‘real’ Allen and the Allen often presented on television, Allen baring his soul in a promo he called the ‘Season Finale’ where he reveals his anxiety, panic attacks, and the fact that he was diagnosed with mild autism at a young age.
Near the end of PWE’s first season, Allen won the Olla-Rumble and found himself in the spotlight as the Number one contender to the Excellence Championship. Allen was openly terrified of being exposed to this degree but grew to enjoy that fear and even seemed to be opening up to members of the roster as a friend before it closed down. Allen seems to be very different than he was a year ago, making attempts to be a nicer individual in general outside of the ring.
Despite baring his soul and becoming (to most eyes) something of a better person, Allen still tends to try and ‘roast’ his opponents as he wants whoever he is fighting to be angry at him. His skewed sense of honor means he wants the best fight he can get out of any of his opponents even if he has to piss them off to get it.
HANDLER INFORMATION.
NAME: Allen
HOW CAN WE CONTACT YOU?: Discord
HOW DID YOU FIND US?: Quibi
