Narrator: The sounds of country music, mixed with hardcore rap and metal echoes through the fully renovated barn in the back of Ophelia’s farmstead in Tennessee. There is a mass of people dancing around having a good time. Full of good stiff drinks and food made with care and a southern touch. A faint cloud covers the barn but no one seems to notice or care. Yet nowhere to be seen are the blushing bride and devilishly handsome groom. What did I say about letting him write his own descriptions!?!? *Sigh* Whatever they were in the bouncy castle.
The horror themed bouncy castle was shaking wildly when suddenly it stopped. As Lewis popped his head through the curtain, while hastily tucking his shirt into his pants. He was quickly followed by Ophelia, attempting to straighten out the tulle on her dress and failing. Lewis helps her down and begins patting the dress down.
Lewis: Three rounds down.
Ophelia: We aren’t done yet tiger. This is just a hydration break.
Lewis: Dope.
The two of them interlock their fingers and make their way towards the barn. Several guests are passed out on the ground outside and cuddling with the livestock.
Lewis: Can I ask you a question?
Ophelia: Of course you can.
Lewis (Biting his bottom lip, and slumping his shoulders): Why did you invite Betsy? And why did you make her a Bridesmaid?
Ophelia: Because she’s a friend, and I don’t have to tell you how hard it’s been for me to make friends. It’s why I made all of them bridesmaids.
Lewis: Yeah I know, but like her in particular. She’s different.
Ophelia: Well being a time traveler….
Lewis: See that right there. You mean to tell me she holds the secret to time travel and doesn’t know how all of this ends? Or she does know how it ends and is holding out valuable information for the sake of timelines when she could literally save all of humanity?
Ophelia: Lew, you're thinking too much about this.
Lewis (Stopping completely and turning Ophelia towards him): Am I? You see the way she looks at me right? As if I’m some kind of weirdo. She knows Pheely, she knows.
Narrator: Ophelia pulls Lewis in closely and hugs him tightly. It’s a feeling of comfort that he hasn’t had in a long time, if ever. She looks up to him and smiles.
Ophelia: So what?
Lewis: It’s just—-but——
Ophelia: If she knows all about you, then what do you have to worry about? If she knows every little detail then surely she knows what just happened in the bouncy castle. Then she knows what you’re going to do next.
Lewis: And what’s that?
Ophelia: Great things.
Lewis: I’m not so sure about that.
Narrator: From inside the barn there is a loud commotion and several echoing bangs. Several people come rushing out. Both Lewis and Ophelia begin to run towards the barn, bumping into and knocking down several people in the process. Pheely kicks off her shoes to keep up with Lewis who was pulling ahead. They reach the barn door, as Lewis waits for Ophelia.
Lewis: Stay here.
Ophelia: Fuck that! If someone is ruining my recep—-
Lewis: STAY HERE! Ophelia: Excuse me!?
Lewis grabs Ophelia by the shoulders and moves her out of the way of the door.
Lewis: Listen to me. We don’t know what’s going on in there. If something goes sideways I’d rather it be me.
Ophelia: Lewi——
Lewis: Just please stay here.
Narrator: Knowing that the longer the two of them stay there the worse it could be inside. Ophelia nods as Lewis gives her a longer than expected kiss. It almost turned into another cardio session but Lewis pulls out.
Lewis: Heh, pulls out. Never Bro.
Ophelia: No time. Just go in there before I do.
Lewis: Right—Right.
Lewis takes a deep breath and kicks the door open. The cloud covering the barn is thicker than before. Lewis shields his eyes and mouth. The music continues to blare as he makes his way deeper into the bar.
Narrator: What Lewis saw wasn’t for the faint of heart. There was no immediate danger. Actually quite the opposite. The party was going stronger than ever, in the middle of a formed circle is Mohave and Walt having a Kid-N-Play-esqe dance battle with Betsy and Adi Gold. The source of the loud bangs were from the pistol Walt was aiming towards the ceiling and firing off rounds at random.
Lewis: Dammit Walt!!
Walt: What?
Lewis: Guns are for outside.
Walt: Roof is open…
Lewis: Not the point.
Walt: Boy you are on my property…
Lewis: Yeah, but if you ruin this night for her, they won’t find you on your property.
Narrator: It wasn’t long before Ophelia burst into the barn. Walking like she was on a mission. At this point Walt and Lewis were face to face and neither man giving an inch. Ophelia separates the two men and stands between them.
Ophelia snarled at the two men. A look of a woman who was about to castrate them both and not even blink an eye.
Ophelia: You two better start acting right. Walt I love you, but put the gun away. Lewis, as your wife I need you to listen to me, don’t pull that shit again.
Lewis: But—-
She holds a hand on Lewis’ chest, her anger unwavering but her tone changed dramatically, to a calm vibrato.
Ophelia: Things work differently out here. Just please listen to me on this.
Lewis: Fine.
The sudden commotion caused the entire party to stop, before Jeffree got the DJ back on track. Lewis walked off and stood near the barn doors. Pulling out a joint and lighting it up. A hand grabs Lewis by the shoulder and gives it a firm squeeze.
: Felicidades. Ha pasado mucho tiempo, sombra blanca.
Narrator: Now to say the color drained from Lewis’ face would be an understatement. A look of dread, nervousness and fear, covered him like Jalen Ramsey on an NFL Wide Receiver. Lewis: Ern—Ernesto… Wha——
Narrator: Let’s first give you a little insight to who Ernesto is, he is one of the Generals in the Mexican Cartel. Many years ago, Lewis was trying to find his place in the world. Right after he was kicked out of school he decided he was going to venture out on his own. A smart man could thrive in this world, or so he thought. The sounds of string guitars and horns blaring covers the room. The camera catches Lewis sitting at a bar sipping on water, when Ernesto takes a seat next to him.
Ernesto: ¿Nadie te dijo que no bebieras el agua?
Lewis (With a confused look on his face): Excuse me?
Ernesto: No hablas español? ¿Solo inglés?
Lewis: Yeah.
Ernesto: I said, didn’t anyone tell you not to drink the water?
Lewis smiles and gives the man a nod, before pulling out a small flask from his inside pocket.
Ernesto: Good man. So what brings you to Mexico?
Ernesto looked genuinely interested in the young American sitting alone at a bar. Lewis shrugs and finishes his drink.
Lewis: It’s cheaper to live down here than up there.
Ernesto: Cabron, you need money for that.
Lewis: Yeah trust me, I’m aware. Apparently there’s a stigma around hiring a gringo down here.
Ernesto: Not for everyone.
Lewis: Well that’s not been my experience.
Ernesto smiles and grabs Lewis by the shoulder, giving him a shake.
Ernesto: My friend we have much to discuss.
Lewis: Okay.
Narrator: And just like that, a small simple conversation in a bar in Mexico is how Lewis got involved with the Cartel. He didn’t know what he was going to do, all he knew was he needed money. He needed it fast. He was going to take any job that came his way. Little did he know what was coming next, but that’s a story for a different time. All we need to know right now is that Ernesto and Lewis haven’t spoken to each other in a few years.
Ernesto: My friend, it’s so good to see you thriving and growing.
Lewis is still taken aback from the presence of a man he thought he’d never see again. It put his hair on edge. All the happy mannerisms of Lewis were gone and standing right there was nothing more than a shell of a man. Frozen in place with nowhere to run, and clearly nowhere to hide.
Lewis: Yea—-Yeah man, it’s good to see you too.
You could easily see the nerves on Lewis’ face as Ophelia walks up to the two of them. She’s holding a glass in her hand, as she passes it off to Lewis.
Ophelia: They did the thing where they clink their glasses, and since you’re on double duty tonight.
Lewis: Of course love.
(Lewis takes the glass and downs it in the blink of an eye.) Babe let me introduce you to my friend…
Ernesto reaches out and grabs Ophelia by the hand, kissing the back of it.
Lewis: This is Ernesto, we go way back.
Ernesto: It is a pleasure. I’m afraid that I can’t stay long.
Lewis (Feigning Concern) : Oh No…
Ernesto: I just wanted to stop by, give my congratulations and also bring some bad news.
Ophelia: What’s wrong.
Ernesto (Turning towards Lewis): I'm afraid that my father has passed away. I wouldn’t feel right not telling you in person, knowing how much he cared for you, and how hard you worked for him.
Ophelia: Oh my god, I’m so sorry.
Ernesto: Gracias. I will be in contact with you Lewis about the arrangements. Until then enjoy my gift. It’s the big red one on the table.
Narrator: Both Lewis and Ophelia look at the table and when they turn around Ernesto is nowhere to be seen.
Ophelia: That’s weird right?
Lewis: Not for him it’s not.
Ophelia once again grabs Lewis and drags him towards the party. When they are stopped. Ophelia is taken by the hand and led to the middle of the dance floor. Taking a moment Lewis rushes over to the table and grabs the present from Ernesto. He high tails it into the house.
Narrator: Nervously Lewis studies package. Shaking it, putting his ear up to it you know, all the tricks kids use to try and figure out what’s inside the gift.
Lewis: What do I have to be worried about? Look at me. I’m an overgrown man child who found the love of his life, and is finally happy. Why is it every time I get a little bit of comfort, something always comes along and fucks it all up?
Lewis shakes his head.
Lewis: Like for real, I found a company that is finally willing to overlook the fact that ‘I’m not properly trained’ or ‘Have a clue of what to do In the ring’ and suddenly I’m out there with someone who should be the Champion right now and someone who should be hustling three card monte on the Jersey Shore. And to top it all off I’ve got to worry about the Louie C.K. ripoff all because he can’t take a joke. Ironic isn’t it?
A slight chuckle to himself.
Lewis: I know that Ophelia has told me that I need to focus on the ring, and getting better each week. Honestly I think that I have. I’ve come a long way from the guy who jumped into the Margarita Mix and came out with two victories under his belt. I do know however that I’m just at the beginning of my journey. Everything comes with a time and place. It’s just eerily convenient that some people don’t have to worry about that.
Lewis: I meant it when I said Betsy should be the champion right now. I don’t care if she doesn’t have the title, she is the peak of this company. All you have to do is look at her body of work, look at everything she’s accomplished in such a short amount of time. That’s what I’m striving to be. I see her trajectory and want to emulate it, but I want to do it better. Unlike her I won’t have two previous starts and stops. This locomotive is on the tracks and it’s on the move. She may already be moving, but we can all see it. She finally finished what she set out to do. She beat Mack O’Connor. She slayed her divine beast and what’s left for her now? We all know what happens when goals are met, people tend to falter. It’s okay Betsy, you are going to find out first hand how little Pinkie fears Betsy. Trust me when I say this, when I come out of tip, it won’t be because of sleight of hand or magic…
Narrator: SEGWAY! Lewis starts to unwrap the gift sitting in front of him.
Lewis: Zoey, I can sense great weakness in you. That’s something I’d say if I knew a single fucking thing about you. All I know is that you’re a stage magician who is better suited to be the assistant. But not like the pretty one that’s on stage, but the one they use during practice because they know your timing is just a hair off. Or that your hand might just pop out at the most inopportune time ruining the illusion for all the morons that actually paid money to watch charlatans swindle them of time and money.
Lewis: I mean sure I could continue to go the rip on David Blaine for hours on end, but I’ve got a party to get back to, so instead let’s compare you to home. Trenton, New Jersey. Where to begin, am I right? That whole state is garbage, no literally there are public parks built on top of garbage dumps. It explains so much yet so little at the same time. Like how do y’all have the highest property tax in the nation? You live on top of garbage, at least Oscar the Grouch could move whenever he wanted. Or what about the overpopulation and constant construction going on? Like are that many people trying to leave that state in such a rush that the roads get worn down that quickly? I guess that explains why you moved out west, right? You actually wanted to see the sunlight without that dark haze hanging over the entire state. It must be nice breathing real fresh air without the smell of Cool Water and tanning lotion clogging your nostrils.
Lewis: Zoey when it comes to what Betsy and I actually are you just come up a bit short. Kinda like Chriss Angel whenever he doesn’t one of his stunts that has a million cuts and you can obviously see where it’s fake. Much like magic in general.
With a quick smile Lewis takes a deep breath and continues.
Lewis: See there’s no way I can match either of you. Both of you are very gifted in the ring and it shows. All I can do is do my best to not embarrass myself. Who knows I might even steal a win.
Narrator: That’s the only way he’d be able to get a win.
Lewis: Shut it you and stick to the script!
Narrator (Sigh): Fine. Lewis Chad Pinkston, the latest and most okay-ish wrestler is about to pull back the curtain on the charade of Magic and Time Travel.
Lewis: Thank you.
Narrator: With a quick nod Lewis opens the non descript box and pulls out a smaller box. Taped to the top of it is a note. Being Lewis he reads it aloud.
Lewis: What’s that mean?
Narrator: Nothing. He reads the note.Lewis (Rolls his eyes): Lewis. It’s been a long time, but I’m afraid I’m going to need someone of your skill set once more, my old friend. I normally don’t call in debts like this but after my father passing there was a major shift in power. In order to keep the peace I’m going to need your help. Inside this gift that I know you’ve been wanting, is a cell phone. I ask that you answer it when it’s called. Ernesto.
He peels open the box with a huge smile on his face, but it quickly changes to anger.
Lewis: I SAID A CROCKPOT!!! Not a pressure cooker!
With a swipe of his hand, Lewis knocks the highly priced pressure cooker to the ground. A small cellphone falls out of it. He bends down, inspecting it as he picks it up. The phone is an old Motorola Razr.
Lewis: Looks like Mexico finally made it to the early 2000’s.
Ophelia bursts into the room, swinging herself to the beat of the music in her head. Her long dress flowed gracefully behind her.
Ophelia: I’ve been looking for you. It’s time to take the garter off. Everything okay? Something seems off.
Lewis (A small side smile): Nothing to worry about. I’ll tell you all about it later once everyone leaves.
Ophelia: You can tell me anything you know that right?
Lewis: I do. And honestly I can’t guarantee that I’m not going to go higher than just the garter out there.
Lewis slyly puts the phone in his pocket and swoops Ophelia up onto his shoulder. With a few firm smacks on her backside they disappear back out into the party.
Narrator: Well that didn’t go the way we had all planned huh? Sure everyone had a blast at the reception. Even those who weren’t too keen on the idea eventually relented and drank some of Walt’s shine. Now I wish I could tell you that’s the end of the story, but I can’t. Ernesto is going to call one day and on that day Lewis is going to have a very difficult decision to make. You see Ernesto had always known where Lewis was, but Lewis never had anything to lose. Well not until Ophelia. Fade To Black
: Felicidades. Ha pasado mucho tiempo, sombra blanca.
