Respect is Given and Unearned

Narrator: So where were we? I’m sure it’ll come to me.

Lewis is nervously pacing back and forth in a hallway. Slowly he reaches over towards a doorknob. His fingers are inches away from grabbing it, trembling wildly, as he snaps his hand back.

LEWIS:Come on man! What’s the worst thing that could happen?

Narrator: You know what the worst thing that could happen is. That’s why you’re nervous.

LEWIS: Shut up you. I’ll jam you with a Q-tip if you don’t quiet down.

Narrator: I don’t think it works like that, but if you want to try, be my guest.

LEWIS: It works however I want it to work, but that isn’t the point.

Narrator: Fine then. What exactly is your point? Better yet, what’s your purpose for being here?

Lew continues to pace back and forth, stopping every few steps. Pausing, pointing and then ultimately shaking his head and back to pacing. Over and over again.

LEWIS: It’s just how do I get people to respect me?

Narrator: Maybe don’t act like an asshole all the time.

LEWIS: Nah. People love that about me. However they love me but they don’t respect me. It’s like I’m the 7th member of BTS. Sure they love me because I’m there, but do you or anyone know the guy's name?

Narrator: No, and I doubt that you do either.

LEWIS: It’s Jungkook.

Narrator: How?

LEWIS: You don’t know everything about me.

Narrator: I kinda do.

LEWIS: Ok if you think that, why am I thinking about right…… now?

Narrator: You’re thinking how awesome it would be to be in BTS and traveling around the world, performing in front of millions.

LEWIS: Lucky guess.

Narrator: Ain’t luck.

LEWIS: Sure. Either way, to get respect…

Narrator: You’ve got to give….

LEWIS: What? Oh god no. Sometimes you’ve just gotta take it. If the person won’t give it to you…..

Narrator: I don’t think you’re built for that.

LEWIS: Physically? No. Mentally? That’s where I’ve got an advantage over everyone not named Granger. How else was I able to almost topple the King? How else was I constantly on the forefront of everyone’s mind? How else…

Narrator: Did you pull your smoking hot wife…

LEWIS: That one was all me and genetics.

Narrator: (Somehow an audible eyeroll).

LEWIS: I’m talking a massive…

Narrator: I got it, I got it. Geeze man, read the room.

Lewis looks around the hallway puzzled.

LEWIS: I don’t think this is considered a room… maybe a veranda if you’re liberal with the usage of the word. But it isn’t…

Narrator: It’s a common expression Lewis.

LEWIS: You’re a common expression.

Narrator: I’m starting to see why people don’t respect you.

LEWIS: And how is that?

Narrator: Well you constantly have to correct people. You’re audibly obnoxious and you wear your “I’m a dumbass” hat way more often….

LEWIS: It’s a SUPREME trucker…

Narrator: Another expression Lewis.

LEWIS: Yeah I knew that. I just wanted to talk about my dope hat.

Narrator: It’s an overpriced hat and a style that hasn't been relevant since BEFORE Ashton started wearing them again. But that’s my point. You’re more concerned with what people think about you, that you end up putting yourself in no win situations.

LEWIS: Three.

Narrator: Three what?

LEWIS: Wins in no win situations.

Narrator: Again, trying to prove your own point.

LEWIS: Okay smart guy, what should I do?

Narrator: Well I know what happens next, but I can’t spoil it for you.

LEWIS: Then what good are you?

Narrator: Companionship.

LEWIS: That’s what I’ve got Pheely for now.

Narrator: We both know I was here before her and I’ll be here long after her.

LEWIS: You don’t know that. I could easily just stop…

Narrator: But you won’t.

LEWIS: I could…

Narrator: But you can’t.

LEWIS: Fine.

Narrator: Ready to tell me why you’re here?

LEWIS: Ugh, fine. I’ve gone to the one person on this planet that always demanded respect.

Narrator: I thought he got locked away after the Charity Cruise?

LEWIS: Nah. He got away from the FBI, but no it’s not him.

Narrator: Oh then who is it?

LEWIS: Come on.

With a massive deep breath Lewis grabs the ornate door knob and twists it quickly. Forcing the door open and stepping in with a purpose. Lewis clears his throat.

LEWIS: Excuse m….

A hand pops up from the chair whose back is turned towards Lewis.

LEWIS: I nee—-

The hand waves wildly as Lewis impatiently taps his foot on the ground and a hand on his hip. Looking like a gangly Sonic The Hedgehog. After checking his nonexistent watch several times, the man speaks.


Man: Hello Lewis.

LEWIS: H—-How?

Man: The unmistakable scent of patchouli, fear and baby powder.

Narrator: How did he know about your rash?

LEWIS: Shut it you.

Man: What was that?

LEWIS: Nothing sir.

Man: Welp what are you here for? Surly it isn’t money given what your wife has made. It can’t be for your career, seeing as how you’ve chosen one that blatantly disregards your academic achievements. So tell me, why are you here?

The man slowly turns around, you know, like a typical villain, and it’s none other than Lewis’ own father RICHARD: Pinkston.

LEWIS: Thanks for all the encouragement Dad. You really know how to hit me in the feels.

RICHARD:: Get to the point Lewis.

LEWIS: Right. So you know how I made a lot of investments?

RICHARD:: Yes. Even going against the information I gave you that you asked for.

LEWIS: Yeah right. Anyways. So I ended up selling a lot of those investments, and I’m down to one.

RICHARD:: And what exactly are you looking at me for?

LEWIS: How does someone take their investments, and parlay them into the day to day operations?

RICHARD:: Well…. It’s not that easy. You’d need a lawyer, contracts, a business plan that can get you into the door, and how to market the product.

Lewis pulls out from under his shirt a large envelope and places it on his father’s desk.

LEWIS: Like these?

RICHARD:: Why are you handing them to me?

LEWIS: You’re a lawyer right?

RICHARD:: It’s been a long time, Lewis. I haven’t practiced since I became a college professor.

LEWIS: Right I get that. But you still passed the BAR, you still hold your license to practice, I know I’ve seen the mail. By the way, they can do that in Emails now. So wasteful. So I know you’ve been keeping up on it.

RICHARD:: Why don’t you have your wife’s army of lawyers look it over?

LEWIS: After the whole “Ocean Front Property in Idaho” thing they won’t talk to me. Cost me a fortune.

RICHARD:: I think they saved you.

LEWIS: Not really. I knew it wasn’t ocean front, or even adjacent. It was a massive property. I’m talking about thousands of acres. All they had to do was rubber stamp it. You know what happened three weeks after that fell through? They struck oil. Cost me Billions. So I came to the only lawyer who would diligently look over the paperwork.

RICHARD:: Me?

LEWIS: Yup. So I’ll leave you to it. Just let me know if I have a leg to stand on, because very shortly I might not have any legs at all.

RICHARD:: Dane?

LEWIS: *Sigh* Yes dad. Dane.

RICHARD:: Handsome fella isn’t he?

LEWIS: I’m not getting into this right now. Will you read them or not?

RICHARD:: You know I will.

LEWIS: Thanks pops.

Lewis goes for a fist bump but Richard shakes his head and begins to thumb through the paperwork that was set before him.

Narrator: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?

LEWIS: Ah Ah Ah….Absolutely No Spoilers.

Fade To Black