Quackers and the Experiment

"Once upon a time, in the land of Hollywood California, there were five siblings. Okay, so like there were five sisters and their younger brother, Rob but like...who really paid attention to Rob anyway?

Sorry Rob. Kisses.

So anyway, there were like these five super rich, super hot, super beautiful sisters who worked with their super amazing and wonderful mother - did I mention they were super rich? Like, okay, anyway…

One day, the most beautiful child of the group, Khloe Jenner and also the most intelligent and enterpreneuristic of the bunch decided it was time to branch out.

Seek new adventures.

And that's where Kiwi Cologne™ came in. Started with little to nothing, their small family business soon began to go viral. And like by viral, okay, I mean viral!

Amazing!
Incredible!

Some people said other things but you just know they pay for fake negative reviews. All and all it was a hit, but the high end market was go go go so naturally, so was our beautiful heroine. Did I mention she was beautiful?

Anyway: one day this super exotic like super exclusive company sent our heroine an invitation. It was simple, elegant - it had to be the next in thing: Formula 62. So her, her assistant, and Rob all piled in to hear out to the hills of Saratoga, I know gross right but they thought like, maybe it's chic? But when they got there, it wasn't chic at all. It turned into like...a trap!"

Khloe Kardashian sits in a small cage next to her trembling assistant and Rob, who lays on his side. He is somehow snoring. They are in the center of what looks to be a large, cartoon lab, complete with bubbling beakers and graduated cylinders.

She has her phone held out in front of her, speaking into it: "Now I know what you're thinking-"

"Shut the fuck up!!" shrieks a nasal voice. A small cartoon duck, yes this is the direction we are going in, steps up to the cage. He has a lab coat pulled over what looks like a medieval jesters outfit, complete with a jingling bell hat. There is a foaming vial in one hand and a banana puppet wielding a knife in the other.

"What else do you want me to do?," she complains, "I've been stuck in your lavatory all day."

"Laboratory," he corrects.

She tilts her head quizzically to the size. "No, I think that's a dog."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut uppp!"

Quackers stomps in front of the cage, lighting bolts shooting from his head. His face begins to turn bright red.

"Um, excuse you?"

"Do you ever stop talking?!" he screeches, "You're more obnoxious than that Harley Quinn Rip-off Jaclyn Pierrot!"

"Who?" She asks, genuinely confused.

"Shut up!! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!!!"

Steam billows from his ears. His head, now turning bright red, finally explodes. The top shoots up a foot before landing back in place, the small mallard seething mad. He thrusts the bottle forward.

"Drink this!"

She takes it hesitantly, sniffing at the vial. "What is it?"

"It's a serum." He grins, both hands clutch the puppet as he watches. Her face turns to disgust and she holds it back out to him.

"Um, no, I don't do that sort of thing."

"What!?" His free hand clutches the bar, his already large eyes go violently wide.

"I mean, you're a cute duck, maybe if we dated and vibed…"

He looks to the steaming potion and back to her. Realization sets in and he explodes in a flurry of feathers and spit.

"No...NO!!! It's a serum. To make you…" He fishes in the air for a moment for a word. One glance her way and he sees the ripple on the water: "Young."

"I've heard that…" she nods her head now knowingly, "Is it keto?

"Just drink it!!!!"

"Okay jeez, just a sip." She sniffs at it once more before tilting it back slightly. She starts to lower it but he reaches out and holds the end up. Khloe chokes and pulls back

"Oh that tastes like…" her eyes flutter and she staggers, "cotton candy?"

She falls to the ground. The assistant paws at Rob, but he does not move. Khloe's body begins to shudder, and shake, and suddenly, it starts to shift its shape.

To grow.

Her Christian Louboutin So Kate Pumps tears and rips and shreds to accommodate the growth. The black Chanel quilted jumpsuit, however, remains intact. How you may ask? Well: ask Bruce Banner's pants.

Khloe's assistant screams as the transformed woman stands, her head touching the top bars. Quackers skips forward and opens the cage. He waves her forward.

The beast steps out and he replaces her with the banana puppet, closing back the cage.

"Now, my Experiment!!" He quacks, "To show you to the world."

Quackers and the Experiment walk away from the cage, but just as he gets to the door, he turns.

"Bad Apple? Take care of those two.”

The assistant looks down at the puppet, knife in his hand staring aimlessly into space. As the door clicks shut, she crawls closer. It's head turns and she screams once more.

"Hello, world!" the small duck begins.

Static rips across the screen.

"Dr. Quackers here. You may know me from," more static. The signal fades. There is noise and scrambling and a form in the fuzz and can be seen jumping and a crash is heard. He appears again. "Right! Well, now you will know me as something else: your Doom!"

He quacks with laughter.

"You see today, I will test my ultimate serum out: Formula 62!!” he waves back at the muscular woman behind him. Her fists clench, "You see, a little birdy told me that a cat told it that you were having a tournament. A tournament to test your power! Your might! Your excellence!"

He scrambles over beside her.

"I present to you the unstoppable combination of all three. Power, might, excellence, and just a pinch of 245 trioxin!" He crawls up onto her shoulders, pointing down, "The Experiment!!!"

She flexes her muscles.

"You see, Ollie cat, you've made a massive mistake. You've allowed me into your world. You've allowed me into your space. Now let me provide you with my hypothesis" He poses again dramatically, "Total Domination"

Static.

He yells. A form approaches through the blur. More slamming. He appears again closer than before, face against the camera.

"You've been warned and you will be tested!" He steps back, clenching his fist dramatically. She flexes her biceps. "PREPARE TO BECOME DATA!!"

He begins to laugh but her voice can be heard over him, heavy, deep, and robotic.

"If they die, they die!"

"No! No!! NO!!! That's copyright infringement!"

Just jaw drops directly to the floor in front of it. Scooping it up, Quakers grabs the camera and quickly cuts the feed.

"Rob wake up!"

Back in the cell, the assistant pushes at the youngest Kardashian's body, but he doesn't wake. Her hands jerk back, the doll begins to stand.

"Rob please!!"

It's hand clutches the knife. Rob's eyes open and he groans.

"Where am I?" He begins to turn. The banana doll is moving towards them and he joins her in screaming until silence cuts in.

And just like that, one Bad Apple spoils the bunch.